Mary Lewys -- In & Out with a freak flag
One of the main reasons I like the movie In & Out, besides the kiss between Kevin Kline and Tom Selleck, is this subtle message that coming out of the closet is okay and a good thing. We all live in one type of closet or another for fear that our freak flag will scare off the locals. There's not much worse than showing your true colors and having people run, screaming. It ranks right up there with having a limb lopped off in a freak iPod accident (don't ask).
After the wedding doesn't happen (I hope I didn't spoil it for anyone; it's not like this movie hasn't been out for nine years or anything), the older women of the community sit in the reception hall quite depressed. Not because Howard's gay, but because there was no wedding (*gasp* The Horror!). In their flowered dresses and Sunday-best hats, each supports Howard's mother (played beautifully by Debbie Reynolds) about her son coming out at the most crucial part of the ceremony.
One even ponders what the big deal is - why they can't all be honest about whatever secrets they're keeping. She proceeds to stand and confess that she made "treats" for the reception from a recipe that wasn't hers.
"I'll say it. Right out loud. I hated The Bridges of Madison County," another confesses.
"My husband has three tentacles!" Breaking through the freak flag closeted barrier, the most dowdy of the bunch shouts her confession over the crowd. "It's disgusting."
At which point, everyone laughs because that's damn funny.
What was it that they were all afraid of? Judgment. Condemnation. Separation. Loneliness. It's better to go along and belong than be you and by yourself, right?
The toothpaste and underarm deodorant commercials would have you think so. So would a lot of other people. It's easy to herd people in the direction you want if they're in a group. But let's not fly the conspiracy freak flag yet.
Or is it Egocentricism that causes us to believe we're the only one? We're the only person who picks their teeth with piece of thick paper or cardboard. We're the only ones who dig our underwear out of our ass crack at the most embarrassing moment. We're the only one who was the outsider in high school or reads comics or secretly has a crush on Jay Leno or likes to sing to the music while driving.
Are we truly afraid to step out of the closest, where it's safe, secure, quiet and singular, only to be lost in the crowd? The idea that each person is unique and special as a snowflake gets drilled into our brain as infants. And yet, by our teen years, we all long to just blend in and not stand out, please, oh God, please don't let her see me with this big zit on my face.
By why should that zit matter? Plenty of teenagers and adults have them. Yet, that teen will stay silent, sit still and go thankfully unnoticed because of a commonplace skin disorder.
Why?
I learned last night that the first season of Chappelle's Show is the best selling Televisions Show on DVD of all time. It's number one. And Brokeback Mountain has got to be the most talked about and joked about movie in a long, long time.
Hello? The freak flags are a flying and no one seems to care!
So how is it public perception of the general public seems to go that freaks are not welcome? That it would be better for everyone if they would simply stay in the closet?
I don't know. But I want a poll. A private, individual poll of people living in America of what they think of "freakish" behavior (anything that deviates from the standard Britney Spears, white upper middle class, SUV riding, pearly white teeth, doesn't stink, dresses at Old Navy type person). That's what I want.
Separate from the herd and I bet more people would come out of the closet, waving their own freak flag.
After the wedding doesn't happen (I hope I didn't spoil it for anyone; it's not like this movie hasn't been out for nine years or anything), the older women of the community sit in the reception hall quite depressed. Not because Howard's gay, but because there was no wedding (*gasp* The Horror!). In their flowered dresses and Sunday-best hats, each supports Howard's mother (played beautifully by Debbie Reynolds) about her son coming out at the most crucial part of the ceremony.
One even ponders what the big deal is - why they can't all be honest about whatever secrets they're keeping. She proceeds to stand and confess that she made "treats" for the reception from a recipe that wasn't hers.
"I'll say it. Right out loud. I hated The Bridges of Madison County," another confesses.
"My husband has three tentacles!" Breaking through the freak flag closeted barrier, the most dowdy of the bunch shouts her confession over the crowd. "It's disgusting."
At which point, everyone laughs because that's damn funny.
What was it that they were all afraid of? Judgment. Condemnation. Separation. Loneliness. It's better to go along and belong than be you and by yourself, right?
The toothpaste and underarm deodorant commercials would have you think so. So would a lot of other people. It's easy to herd people in the direction you want if they're in a group. But let's not fly the conspiracy freak flag yet.
Or is it Egocentricism that causes us to believe we're the only one? We're the only person who picks their teeth with piece of thick paper or cardboard. We're the only ones who dig our underwear out of our ass crack at the most embarrassing moment. We're the only one who was the outsider in high school or reads comics or secretly has a crush on Jay Leno or likes to sing to the music while driving.
Are we truly afraid to step out of the closest, where it's safe, secure, quiet and singular, only to be lost in the crowd? The idea that each person is unique and special as a snowflake gets drilled into our brain as infants. And yet, by our teen years, we all long to just blend in and not stand out, please, oh God, please don't let her see me with this big zit on my face.
By why should that zit matter? Plenty of teenagers and adults have them. Yet, that teen will stay silent, sit still and go thankfully unnoticed because of a commonplace skin disorder.
Why?
I learned last night that the first season of Chappelle's Show is the best selling Televisions Show on DVD of all time. It's number one. And Brokeback Mountain has got to be the most talked about and joked about movie in a long, long time.
Hello? The freak flags are a flying and no one seems to care!
So how is it public perception of the general public seems to go that freaks are not welcome? That it would be better for everyone if they would simply stay in the closet?
I don't know. But I want a poll. A private, individual poll of people living in America of what they think of "freakish" behavior (anything that deviates from the standard Britney Spears, white upper middle class, SUV riding, pearly white teeth, doesn't stink, dresses at Old Navy type person). That's what I want.
Separate from the herd and I bet more people would come out of the closet, waving their own freak flag.
